Wellness

How to improve resilience and self-love with Suzy Reading, Chartered Psychologist

In a world that often feels overwhelming, Suzy Reading - a chartered psychologist, author and champion of emotional wellbeing - reminds us of the power of nurturing small, sustainable habits. With expertise in healthy habits and personal boundaries, Suzy has guided countless people through stress and change. We wanted to deep dive with Suzy to provide an expert guide to navigating boundaries, compassion and self-love this festive season.

In this interview, Suzy opens up about her own journey to prioritising emotional health, sharing her insights on self-compassion, the importance of boundaries, and finding calm in the chaos. Whether you're facing holiday stress or simply seeking a more grounded approach to daily life, Suzy's tips provide inspiration for a kinder, more balanced path to wellbeing.

What inspired you to focus your work on healthy habits and emotional wellbeing?

Having spent a decade working as a personal trainer and private yoga teacher, when I came back to my therapeutic roots, I wanted to be able to share my whole toolkit, nurturing the head, the heart and the body. I love empowering people with the skills of sustainable lifestyle change and healthy habits are fundamental to that. My movement and breathwork practices have lent themselves beautifully to a focus on emotional wellbeing in my coaching and counselling work. Everything I’ve learnt in the various chapters of my professional life has led me to this incarnation of my career, supporting people through stress, loss and change.

You’re well-known for your calm and reassuring presence on social media. Was there a pivotal moment in your life that made you realise the importance of boundaries and self-care, or has it always been a part of your routine?

Nourishing practices and self-compassion have always been a fundamental part of my relationship with myself but it was motherhood colliding with the terminal illness of my father that taught me that honouring my needs and expressing my emotions was crucial for my health and well-being and the health of my relationships. I learnt that my depletion served no one and my replenishment benefited everyone I cared about. Motherhood also fine tuned my skills in self-advocacy. In learning to speak up for my kids, I grew the confidence to act in my own best interests, so that I could protect those in my care and my own peace.

We often hear about the importance of “filling your cup first” before you can give to others. How do you recommend people prioritise themselves when they’re juggling so many responsibilities?

I know how impossible it can feel to prioritise ourselves when we are being pulled in a dozen different directions. In times of squeeze, self-care becomes even more crucial but can feel so out of reach. The key is to identify available ways to nurture yourself, in addition to reaching out for the support that you need. We may not have the time, energy or freedom to be able to take care of ourselves as we usually would but we can turn to a different toolkit of skills and habits that take little expense, time or effort. I've spent the last decade building that toolkit and sharing them in my books.

What are your favourite small, yet powerful, habits for grounding yourself during busy times?

Kind self-talk is a non negotiable, only speaking to ourselves with dignity and respect.

My favourite grounding ritual is to place a hand on my heart and feel my feet on the floor. This can be incorporated into a simple but powerful ritual paired with the everyday practice of drinking water. Every time you drink, tenderly place a hand on your heart and feel how this anchors you in this moment, extending a quality of softness to yourself

How can we practise setting boundaries with compassion and tenderness for both ourselves and others?

This one takes practice! Let's make a distinction between being nice and being kind. Boundaries are what we need to feel safe and healthy in relationship to others, giving each other crucial feedback on what we feel is acceptable and unacceptable. Clarity here is kinder all round, allowing us to better understand and respect each other. Being direct, being honest about our capacity and our needs provides the necessary foundation for us to come together and connect meaningfully and authentically. Communicating compassionately what we need and where we feel there are boundary transgressions is a skill we can all learn.

What are some simple ways people can check in with themselves throughout the day to support emotional resilience?

The simplest way we can connect with ourselves is to take a purposeful pause: put your hands on your heart and check in. Notice the presence of any sensations, feelings, thoughts. Check in with your energy levels, how your breathing feels. Finish with a gentle enquiry as to what you might need and take action where possible. It might be noticing thirst, hunger, loneliness, fatigue, tension. If you can’t address your need in that moment, be gentle with yourself and make a note to revisit it later - an appointment with you. To build the check in habit, identify salient points in your day, like first thing, while the kettle boils, or pair it with mealtimes to help you remember.

The concept of self-care can often feel overwhelming or time-consuming. What would you say to someone who feels they don’t have enough time for themselves?

Self-care is health care and without our health, what do we have? We need to bump our own needs up our list of priorities and give ourselves permission to nourish ourselves. I appreciate there are times in life when we are squeezed for time. In these chapters it’s about reaching out to receive the love and support we need and committing to simple habits and practices that are accessible to us, like encouraging self-talk, breathwork, gentle stretches, rituals of touch and mental strategies to keep our thinking constructive, like focusing on what lies within our control. Time will open up again, until then, these things can help sustain you.

Do you have a routine or any habits that help you shift your mindset at the end of the day, allowing you to unwind and recharge?

I like to change into super comfy clothes, wash my hands and pop on some hand balm to shift gears. The scent is a cue that it’s time for a different purpose and pace. If I’m fatigued and there’s the opportunity, I’ll refresh with 5 minutes of legs up the wall pose. I also like to write my list for the following day so I feel prepared and can then let tomorrow wait for me, dedicating the rest of the evening to connecting with loved ones, unwinding and pleasure!

With the holiday season fast approaching, what are some ways we can offer ourselves the gift of self-compassion and self-kindness during this period?

A simple way to extend kindness to ourselves is to carve a compassionate pace. For all the excitement and pleasure of coming together, there also needs to be some space for flopping and dropping. I’m looking forward to snuggles on the sofa and some fresh air via woodland walks. A balance between rest and gentle movement, cosy comfort indoors and getting out into Nature’s beauty, gives us access to zest and peace.

Finally, what’s your favourite way to show tender care to yourself and others?

I like to voice my appreciation often. I want my loved ones to know that I value them, helping them celebrate the beautiful strengths that they bring to this world and to feel safe in the knowledge of my love and care. I try to treat myself with the same respect and notice that when I do, I have greater access to all those qualities I hold dear. Tender self-talk makes all the difference.

Suzy is a mother of two, an author, Chartered Psychologist and Coach. She specialises in self-care, helping people manage their stress, emotions, and energetic bank balance. It was her life experience of motherhood colliding with the terminal illness of her father that sparked her passion for self-care which she now teaches to her clients, young and old, to cope during periods of stress, loss and change and to boost their resilience in the face of future challenges. Her first book ‘The Self-Care Revolution’ published by Aster came out in 2017 and she’s had the opportunity to write extensively on how to nourish yourself, including her latest book 'Self-Care for Winter'.

Follow Suzy on her Instagram, or visit her website for more details www.suzyreading.co.uk.

By Sarah